pricksatmywindow:

at my funeral when they’re lowering me into the ground i demand they play drop it like its hot

(via h4teful)

• boys in fights: i hate you man fuck you
• girls in fights: Your eyes are uneven and you're fat and you're an attention whore and you're dumb and I bet the only reason you have good grades is because you sleep with your teachers. Also, I had sex with your boyfriend. And also I deleted you off facebook and unfollowed you and I hope you live alone for the rest of your life and even your cats run away from you. PS your mom is sleeping with her yoga teacher. Bye, cunt.

A Haiku About Getting Out of Bed

No No No No No
No No No No No No No
No No No No No

(Source: nerdgeekdweeb, via rubenstuddard420)

iphone420:

why is siri always so nice to people on the iphone commercials but shes so sassy with me and never gives me the right answer

(via rubenstuddard420)

hanging-teeth:

who knows, maybe face tastes delicious and we’re all missing out

(via ichatblog)

• friend: sorry, I can't hang out anymore
• me: but I showered for you

colfercriss:

every time mila kunis breathes an angel gets its wings

(via katnissthebadass)

When you play a song for a friend & they don’t like it

sodamnrelatable:

via sodamnrelatable

(Source: that-gif-person)

iamladyhope:

more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of meryl streep running through your veins

(via queerard)

I forgot the word “reindeer” today so I described them as “Christmas llamas” why

(Source: urlsquatter, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)